NBA Running Diary
I’ve decided that a Lakers-Thunder Game 4 viewing party would be an apt time for a running diary, beginning with the second half of the Hawks-Bucks Game 3. We pick up that game with Milwaukee leading 52-40. Entries are in Pacific Time.
5:30 PM John Salmons drills a 15-footer while falling down. What an amazing pick-me-up his acquisition from the Bulls ended up being.
5:32 Joe Johnson has 19 of Atlanta’s 43 points after knocking down a three from the corner. He’s going to look great in a Chicago, Miami, or New York uniform next season.
5:35 Atlanta is making Luc Mbah a Moute, Ersan Ilyasova, and Carlos Delfino look like 5-time All-Stars.
5:37 Jon Barry just noted that Jamal Crawford took over the lead for 4-point plays from Reggie Miller, to which I ask: “How many more years will it take Jamal Crawford to get inducted into the Hall of Fame than Reggie Miller?”
5:38 (cut-away to James Harden walking into the arena) When did it become cool for NBA players to look like homeless people? Whenever that point came, they sure have it perfected now.
5:42 If I hadn’t looked up that Carlos Delfino’s contract lasts 2 more years, I’d say that ESPN and the NBA are trying to boost his trade value by the way they’re featuring him.
5:44 Anytime Kurt Thomas is one of your rotation guys, you should know that you’re not going very far.
Al Horford has nailed 3 straight 17-foot jump shots and I’m already slotting him for next year’s fantasy draft.
5:47 I love these cutaway previews. Ron Artest is channeling his inner Worm. I’d love to get him to interpret what the designs in his hair mean.
5:51 Jerry Stackhouse climbs out of the ground, brushes himself off, and hits a wide open three.
5:53 Not sure I’ve ever seen so many terrible three-point shooters shoot so many three pointers.
5:59 The loudspeaker blaring a weird version of “Seven Nation Army,” followed by the Milwaukee crowd echoing it afterward, sounds awesome.
6:00 Joe Johnson’s shoulders have got to be tired.
6:03 Whenever Luc Mbah a Moute poses a huge matchup problem against you, you’re not having a good night.
6:09 ESPN/ABC is lucky they get to televise the Lakers tonight, otherwise they would have lost their entire audience for the rest of the night. This game is terrible.
6:12 Clang!
6:13 Jon Barry just made fun of Brandon Jennings’ dancing: “Put in a little more time there young fella.” Jon Barry, I’d love to see you dance.
6:14-6:16 Three of the guys just got here.
Drew: “Ah! Those are good cookies.”
Travis: “They’re Laker-themed.”
This is going to be a good night.
6:17 We just had a 45-second argument about whether Bryon Russell’s name is in fact “Bryon” or if its “Byron.”
6:21 Atlanta may have showed up to the Bradley Center and said, “Let’s take it easy tonight. We’ve got a 2-0 lead, we’ve got one to burn. Let’s mail this one in.”
6:28 Brandon Jennings is doing an air lasso on the bench with his mouthpiece halfway out of his mouth. What else do NBA players have to do in their free time?
6:31 Milwaukee 107, Atlanta 89, final.
6:32 Sideline reporter Holly Rowe is wearing Bucks-colored eye shadow and earrings. Are the NBA and ESPN in cahoots? I smell conspiracy!
6:37 Do you think the guy in the Axe commercial really has a robot following him around just waiting to make him look more attractive? If so, I want to use Axe.
6:39 They just showed the Western Conference bracket and I realized how crappy my playoff picks currently are.
6:39 Doris Burke is doing the color commentary for the Lakers game. I have two thoughts about this: first, very poor broadcast planning by ESPN. Second, women should never call professional basketball games because they inevitably utter phrases like “the Black Mamba.” Doris Burke should not say “the Black Mamba.”
6:43 Has anyone noticed that Pau Gasol has sneakily become a very average free throw shooter? He just missed two free throws. There, you noticed.
6:44 Crowd whiteouts are scary.
6:45 The fantasy baseball chatter has started while the Lakers are on. There is no place I’d rather be right now.
6:46 Don’t you love it when the network shows a replay that causes you to miss a big play? ESPN has gotten complacent; they’re mailing in this broadcast worse than Atlanta mailed in Game 3.
6:47 Ron Artest is 6 foot 7 and cannot dunk. I’m 6 foot 1 and I’d like to think I could flush it if I had another 2-3 inches.
6:51 Derek Fisher just made his first good play guarding Russell Westbrook in this series. Its Game 4.
6:52 My cousin Dave: “Doris Burke really is Gawd awful.” I’m not going to say that everyone feels like this…but everyone feels like this.
6:56 Dave: “I’d be down to watch this game on mute. I’d much rather listen to our commentary than these two hack jobs.”
(Everyone nods in agreement)
6:58 Russell Westbrook just got a preferential call with Kobe guarding him. Are the refs confusing Westbrook with Kevin Durant?
6:59 It is unfathomable that Ron Artest cannot dunk.
7:01 Good work by Taco Bell to introduce the American public to another Spanish word that we’d otherwise never learn: tortada.
7:03 Important moment: we have our first D.J. Mbenga sighting.
7:05 Ron Artest just took his 34,503,044,330th bad shot of the 09-10 season.
7:07 Doris Burke: “That guy has such a knack…”
Dave: “Shut up, Doris.”
7:10 End of 1st quarter: OKC 29, LA, 17. The Lakers mailed in that first quarter more than ESPN is mailing in this broadcast, which was more Atlanta mailed in Game 3. Who knew we could top the Hawks’ crap job so soon?
7:13 Thoughts on the first quarter interview:
Ric Bucher’s hair looks immaculate, and Phil Jackson just broke his own record for Most Sexual Innuendos in A Single Quarter Interview with 5.
7:20 Myself and my buddies are recently not young, if that makes sense. You know you reach this point as a male when you get jacked up to play in softball leagues. When did we get old?
7:25 The Lakers look hung over.
7:26 Ron Artest’s hurt wrist might be the best thing to happen to the Lakers tonight.
7:27 The Lakers are seeing who can miss the most wide open threes off a kick out while the Thunder are seeing how few seconds of the shot clock they can use before they score.
7:35 Doris Burke: “Russell Westbrook is ridiculous.”
Dave: “Shut up Doris, you’re ridiculous”
7:37 Derek Fisher is playing minutes like he’s a 25 year old, and he’s getting torched by Westbrook like he’s 80.
7:44 Kobe doesn’t look right. Did you see those free throw attempts?
7:46 Dan Shulman just called that pseudo-travel an “inadvertent whistle” by the officials. That whistle was about as inadvertent as God’s plan for the redemption of humanity. They just screwed up the call and then fixed it, which makes one corrected call for the first half.
7:49 Apparently, the rules and the boundaries of the court don’t apply to the Thunder. Either that or the refs left the court 2 minutes before the quarter ended.
7:51 Halftime Thunder fast, Lakers comatose.
7:58 I wonder if Avery Johnson got made fun of a lot as a kid.
8:12 Second half starts with a blind foul call on a three pointer. Fisher comes back and drills another three on the other end. Fisher’s carrying the Lakers, and that’s a terrible sign.
8:15 You could foul Kevin Durant while he’s sitting on the bench and the refs would give him two free throws.
8:17 (Jeff Green hits a three)
Trevor: “Dagger”
Travis: “It’s the 3rd quarter”
8:18 Dave just called Kobe “Sir-Dish-A lot.” I can’t make this stuff up.
8:20 Only in the NBA will you see Russell Westbrook chest bump Nenad Krstic.
8:22 Brendan Fraser is starring in “Furry Vengeance” and I’m not convinced he couldn’t defend Westbrook better than Derek Fisher is right now.
8:27 Doris Burke just said made her first intelligent comment of the night, and she stumbled through it pretty bad.
8:28 Dave and the guys have resorted to making fun of individual members in the Oklahoma City crowd. As Laker fans, that’s all we have left.
8:39 We’ve ceased paying attention to the game and have begun talking about the Lap Band and Shake Weight.
8:41 Remember in Space Jam when all the NBA superstars suddenly and inexplicably had their basketball skills stolen by the Monstars?
I think something like this happened to the Lakers tonight. I’m ready for a Jack and Coke.
8:48 Let’s see if the Lakers can close the gap with Jordan Farmar, Luke Walton, and Shannon Brown on the floor.
8:54 The NBA makes most of its players look like they actually care about other people with the “Where Caring Happens” campaign.
8:56 Dan Shulman: “If you’re Scott Brooks, you have to love the free throws.” No, really?
9:00 Doris Burke is really getting comfortable as she jokes around like she’s one of the guys. Oh wait, is she one of the guys?
9:02 What will all these bandwagon, hype machines say when the Lakers come back and wipe the floor with the Thunder in the next two games? Will they admit that they sorely exaggerated their claims earlier?
9:06 You know you’re getting your butt handed to you when Kevin Ollie just checked in against you.
9:08 The score is 105-79 Thunder. There is 4:33 left. I’m disgusted, and I’m quitting early.
9:10 I’m never doing another running diary again. Whose idea was this?
5:30 PM John Salmons drills a 15-footer while falling down. What an amazing pick-me-up his acquisition from the Bulls ended up being.
5:32 Joe Johnson has 19 of Atlanta’s 43 points after knocking down a three from the corner. He’s going to look great in a Chicago, Miami, or New York uniform next season.
5:35 Atlanta is making Luc Mbah a Moute, Ersan Ilyasova, and Carlos Delfino look like 5-time All-Stars.
5:37 Jon Barry just noted that Jamal Crawford took over the lead for 4-point plays from Reggie Miller, to which I ask: “How many more years will it take Jamal Crawford to get inducted into the Hall of Fame than Reggie Miller?”
5:38 (cut-away to James Harden walking into the arena) When did it become cool for NBA players to look like homeless people? Whenever that point came, they sure have it perfected now.
5:42 If I hadn’t looked up that Carlos Delfino’s contract lasts 2 more years, I’d say that ESPN and the NBA are trying to boost his trade value by the way they’re featuring him.
5:44 Anytime Kurt Thomas is one of your rotation guys, you should know that you’re not going very far.
Al Horford has nailed 3 straight 17-foot jump shots and I’m already slotting him for next year’s fantasy draft.
5:47 I love these cutaway previews. Ron Artest is channeling his inner Worm. I’d love to get him to interpret what the designs in his hair mean.
Would anybody be surprised to see Ron Artest end up like this?
5:51 Jerry Stackhouse climbs out of the ground, brushes himself off, and hits a wide open three.
5:53 Not sure I’ve ever seen so many terrible three-point shooters shoot so many three pointers.
5:59 The loudspeaker blaring a weird version of “Seven Nation Army,” followed by the Milwaukee crowd echoing it afterward, sounds awesome.
6:00 Joe Johnson’s shoulders have got to be tired.
6:03 Whenever Luc Mbah a Moute poses a huge matchup problem against you, you’re not having a good night.
6:09 ESPN/ABC is lucky they get to televise the Lakers tonight, otherwise they would have lost their entire audience for the rest of the night. This game is terrible.
6:12 Clang!
6:13 Jon Barry just made fun of Brandon Jennings’ dancing: “Put in a little more time there young fella.” Jon Barry, I’d love to see you dance.
6:14-6:16 Three of the guys just got here.
Drew: “Ah! Those are good cookies.”
Travis: “They’re Laker-themed.”
This is going to be a good night.
6:17 We just had a 45-second argument about whether Bryon Russell’s name is in fact “Bryon” or if its “Byron.”
6:21 Atlanta may have showed up to the Bradley Center and said, “Let’s take it easy tonight. We’ve got a 2-0 lead, we’ve got one to burn. Let’s mail this one in.”
6:28 Brandon Jennings is doing an air lasso on the bench with his mouthpiece halfway out of his mouth. What else do NBA players have to do in their free time?
6:31 Milwaukee 107, Atlanta 89, final.
6:32 Sideline reporter Holly Rowe is wearing Bucks-colored eye shadow and earrings. Are the NBA and ESPN in cahoots? I smell conspiracy!
6:37 Do you think the guy in the Axe commercial really has a robot following him around just waiting to make him look more attractive? If so, I want to use Axe.
6:39 They just showed the Western Conference bracket and I realized how crappy my playoff picks currently are.
6:39 Doris Burke is doing the color commentary for the Lakers game. I have two thoughts about this: first, very poor broadcast planning by ESPN. Second, women should never call professional basketball games because they inevitably utter phrases like “the Black Mamba.” Doris Burke should not say “the Black Mamba.”
6:43 Has anyone noticed that Pau Gasol has sneakily become a very average free throw shooter? He just missed two free throws. There, you noticed.
6:44 Crowd whiteouts are scary.
Penn State fans are Best at the Whiteout
6:45 The fantasy baseball chatter has started while the Lakers are on. There is no place I’d rather be right now.
6:46 Don’t you love it when the network shows a replay that causes you to miss a big play? ESPN has gotten complacent; they’re mailing in this broadcast worse than Atlanta mailed in Game 3.
6:47 Ron Artest is 6 foot 7 and cannot dunk. I’m 6 foot 1 and I’d like to think I could flush it if I had another 2-3 inches.
6:51 Derek Fisher just made his first good play guarding Russell Westbrook in this series. Its Game 4.
6:52 My cousin Dave: “Doris Burke really is Gawd awful.” I’m not going to say that everyone feels like this…but everyone feels like this.
6:56 Dave: “I’d be down to watch this game on mute. I’d much rather listen to our commentary than these two hack jobs.”
(Everyone nods in agreement)
6:58 Russell Westbrook just got a preferential call with Kobe guarding him. Are the refs confusing Westbrook with Kevin Durant?
6:59 It is unfathomable that Ron Artest cannot dunk.
7:01 Good work by Taco Bell to introduce the American public to another Spanish word that we’d otherwise never learn: tortada.
7:03 Important moment: we have our first D.J. Mbenga sighting.
7:05 Ron Artest just took his 34,503,044,330th bad shot of the 09-10 season.
7:07 Doris Burke: “That guy has such a knack…”
Dave: “Shut up, Doris.”
7:10 End of 1st quarter: OKC 29, LA, 17. The Lakers mailed in that first quarter more than ESPN is mailing in this broadcast, which was more Atlanta mailed in Game 3. Who knew we could top the Hawks’ crap job so soon?
7:13 Thoughts on the first quarter interview:
7:20 Myself and my buddies are recently not young, if that makes sense. You know you reach this point as a male when you get jacked up to play in softball leagues. When did we get old?
7:25 The Lakers look hung over.
7:26 Ron Artest’s hurt wrist might be the best thing to happen to the Lakers tonight.
7:27 The Lakers are seeing who can miss the most wide open threes off a kick out while the Thunder are seeing how few seconds of the shot clock they can use before they score.
7:35 Doris Burke: “Russell Westbrook is ridiculous.”
Dave: “Shut up Doris, you’re ridiculous”
7:37 Derek Fisher is playing minutes like he’s a 25 year old, and he’s getting torched by Westbrook like he’s 80.
7:44 Kobe doesn’t look right. Did you see those free throw attempts?
7:46 Dan Shulman just called that pseudo-travel an “inadvertent whistle” by the officials. That whistle was about as inadvertent as God’s plan for the redemption of humanity. They just screwed up the call and then fixed it, which makes one corrected call for the first half.
7:49 Apparently, the rules and the boundaries of the court don’t apply to the Thunder. Either that or the refs left the court 2 minutes before the quarter ended.
7:51 Halftime Thunder fast, Lakers comatose.
7:58 I wonder if Avery Johnson got made fun of a lot as a kid.
8:12 Second half starts with a blind foul call on a three pointer. Fisher comes back and drills another three on the other end. Fisher’s carrying the Lakers, and that’s a terrible sign.
8:15 You could foul Kevin Durant while he’s sitting on the bench and the refs would give him two free throws.
8:17 (Jeff Green hits a three)
Trevor: “Dagger”
Travis: “It’s the 3rd quarter”
8:18 Dave just called Kobe “Sir-Dish-A lot.” I can’t make this stuff up.
8:20 Only in the NBA will you see Russell Westbrook chest bump Nenad Krstic.
8:22 Brendan Fraser is starring in “Furry Vengeance” and I’m not convinced he couldn’t defend Westbrook better than Derek Fisher is right now.
8:27 Doris Burke just said made her first intelligent comment of the night, and she stumbled through it pretty bad.
8:28 Dave and the guys have resorted to making fun of individual members in the Oklahoma City crowd. As Laker fans, that’s all we have left.
8:39 We’ve ceased paying attention to the game and have begun talking about the Lap Band and Shake Weight.
8:41 Remember in Space Jam when all the NBA superstars suddenly and inexplicably had their basketball skills stolen by the Monstars?
I think something like this happened to the Lakers tonight. I’m ready for a Jack and Coke.
8:48 Let’s see if the Lakers can close the gap with Jordan Farmar, Luke Walton, and Shannon Brown on the floor.
8:54 The NBA makes most of its players look like they actually care about other people with the “Where Caring Happens” campaign.
8:56 Dan Shulman: “If you’re Scott Brooks, you have to love the free throws.” No, really?
9:00 Doris Burke is really getting comfortable as she jokes around like she’s one of the guys. Oh wait, is she one of the guys?
9:02 What will all these bandwagon, hype machines say when the Lakers come back and wipe the floor with the Thunder in the next two games? Will they admit that they sorely exaggerated their claims earlier?
9:06 You know you’re getting your butt handed to you when Kevin Ollie just checked in against you.
9:08 The score is 105-79 Thunder. There is 4:33 left. I’m disgusted, and I’m quitting early.
9:10 I’m never doing another running diary again. Whose idea was this?
